Hello Everybody !
How exciting ! I've never said hello to millions of people before . I rarely say hello to the one or two I know should they be unlucky enough to bump into me and usually never to strangers unless I'm sure the moment I say hello , I know I'll be saying goodbye in the same breath .
It's not that I don't like people . I just find most humans , frightening , cunning , dangerous and frankly inhuman . I keep a keen eye on bipeds , with the exception of chickens , for good reason . Bipedal humans are scary , untrustworthy bastards and I'm one of them and God only knows , I barely trust myself .
As for chickens ? If I ever meet a six foot six chicken with tattoos and a twisted beak , I doubt I'd trust it also . Especially if I were wearing my worm costume . Or being caught behaving in a worm like manner , which I've been known to do . Usually , when I've been sprung for some indiscretion .
So ... Where was I ?
Oh yes ... Me !
I was conceived feverishly , born gladly and was nearly adopted out but for my mother who had been gifted with a love for all things small , helpless and fluffy . My humble beginnings ( And as I cast my eye into my future , I see even more humble endings ! ) began as a farmers son . A child of the land , a little bastard , in the literal sense , and the one and only one ... The dreaded bastard , only child !
Imagine the family surprise when my father conceived a son to his wife's sister ! No ! I don't live in Arkansas , have never lived in a house with a porch and can't play the banjo .
Despite the odds , here I am .
Welcome to my Blog and very likely ... Goodbye ...
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